How can I bring up sex toys for the first time with a partner?
There are several ways to address the conversation and that is highly dependent on the openness of your normal sexual discussion with your partner. If you tend to be a bit shy, try writing down a list of ‘wishes’ for how to spice up the bedroom (or whatever room you prefer!). Either read aloud what your top three desires are or do a list exchange and think about it before discussing.
If your relationship is a bit more forward or you have had specific conversations on desire and needs before, this might be a bit easier. I would recommend doing your own research and discussing what toys you might be interested in, or you could have a date night and do some googling together (really just googling, that isn’t a euphemism for something sexy).
Can I become addicted to a vibrator? Can you use too much?
Becoming ‘addicted’ to a toy is a tricky topic. Being addicted to sex is a true issue that can be personally and socially devastating, but it is questionable that you could blame that on a vibe. You might find you enjoy orgasms better with the toy than just your partner, but this isn’t that uncommon. Only 25% of women routinely orgasm just with penetrative intercourse without some sort of additional stimulation or play, so a toy is often a bonus.
If you use toys to an extent that you cause abrasions or inflammation of the vulva or vagina, or if you like a clitoral suction toy, too much may cause painful congestion of the clitoris. It takes a pretty decent amount of use for premenopausal women to reach this level of irritation, but postmenopausal women tend to reach a point where pleasure turns to pain more quickly. This is due to changes in the skin once estrogen starts to diminish.
WHY SHOULD I USE A DILDO?
An excellent question. Some people prefer pressure to vibrations because it gives them a richer experience. Dildos apply pressure to the G-spot, which can offer sensations and orgasms that vibrators may not be able to offer. Dildos can be used in conjunction with specialised harnesses to simulate penetrative intercourse.
IS A TOY SUPPOSED TO BE USED INTERNALLY OR USED EXTERNALLY?
Toy usage is entirely a matter of personal preference. In most cases, the title, image, or specifications of the toys on our site will indicate what they are meant for. However, how you use them is ultimately up to you. Because the vagina is only a few inches deep and nothing can pass through the cervix, you don’t have to be concerned about anything going too far.
Whats the best sex toy for a newbie?
I usually recommend a vibe or ultrasonic device to start if clitoral stimulation is your thing. Most women can orgasm this way, but there are a percentage of women who do better with G spot stimulation or other lesser known ‘spots’. If you aren’t sure, there are many inexpensive vibe options out there to start your search – sometimes trial and error is the way to go!